Three-time Paralympic swimmer Mallory Weggemann and her husband Jay Snyder had a long road to becoming parents. After discovering his male factor infertility, the couple underwent a grueling IVF journey, which involved the swimming champion receiving over 707 injections as part of the process.
On March 16 of last year, their dream of expanding their family came true when they welcomed their baby girl, Charlotte. Now, the duo is opening up in a big way, having documented their fertility struggles, alongside Weggemann’s road from spinal cord injury to swimming champion in their new documentary Watershed.
“It was important that I came out as a male with infertility to talk about the importance of portraying a male living with infertility, what is that like and turning the cameras on ourselves,” says Synder, 41, speaking to PEOPLE at the Los Angeles premiere of the film.
He recalls finding out about his condition, then searching online and not finding much about it. “There are not a lot of men talking about it," he adds. "And so I wanted to be a voice and a beacon of hope for others, and through our journey together, we’re sharing our watershed moments, and hopefully that can inspire others."
Snyder says it’s been therapeutic putting it out there and having others contact him to say, “Thank you for sharing, because we too are going through it right now and you’re helping us through our own IVF journeys.”
Weggemann, 35, is proud of her husband, noting that people are quick to assume fertility struggles are because of the woman, and not the man.
“We also faced the stigma that people made the assumptions that because I am a woman with a disability, being disabled and not being able to have children go hand in hand, which is a very inaccurate assumption and stigma,” she says.
Her goal with the film was to give viewers an authentic look at life with a disability and having their journey to parenthood be a reminder to others that infertility is something that affects all genders.
In the end, their heartache turned to joy. Weggemann and Snyder are now proud parents to a 15-month-old who is always by their side. In fact, the L.A. premiere was the first time they left Charlotte at home without one of them — on grandma’s watch.
“First night away mom and dad together. So, it’s a special night,” says Snyder. He jokes, however, that he and his wife couldn't bear to stay away longer than a day: “We flew in to LA today and fly out tomorrow.”
Training for the upcoming Olympics has been a full-time job for Weggemann, and Charlotte has accompanied her on nearly every trip she’s been on — “almost 50 flights,” she says, adding, “She’s a little traveler, -
and she loves it, and we love doing it as a family.”
The Limitless author says going through everything she and Snyder went through has brought them even closer together, noting that they tried to make the IVF process as sexy as possible: “We always did it together and we found ways to create intimacy around it, because that can be a really, really hard part of infertility, as you feel so disconnected in the process."
"And so I think for us," she adds, "it was just reminding ourselves that we were doing it together, and that we were fighting for this family, that we were fighting tooth and nail to protect, and that dream that we held. And I think that for us, it was learning how to live in the simultaneous with so much of that that we talked about all throughout the process.”
IVF has been in the headlines lately, and Weggemann and Snyder are quick to stand up to any criticism of the fertility treatment that helped them to become parents.
“I think for me, it's just this reminder every time we look at Charlotte that A) she would not exist if it were not for medicine and science, and B) There's not a single soul who can't tell me that this girly did not come into this world through the utmost care, compassion, love and fight," Weggemann says.
"And she deserves to be here, and her existence should be celebrated, not up for discussion of if it's ethical or if it should be done. And frankly, her ability to be here should be a decision between us and our doctors and nobody else, and that is what it comes down to, and we will fight tooth and nail for that, because the only way that I get to call myself a mom and Jay gets call to himself a dad is because of IVF.”
In addition to training to compete in the upcoming Olympics, Weggemann is busy promoting Watershed, gearing up to host NBCUniversal's Paris Olympics coverage and, like many new moms, breastfeeding.
“There’s admittedly a lot of chaos in this family. Let's not let this fool anybody,” she jokes, noting that her family, coaches, and husband have been helping to keep everything running smoothly during this busy season. “I think there's truth to when we bring our full self into all that we do, we are our most authentic self, and when we're able to create space for that, that's when we get to flourish. And so I'm also really excited for the challenge and the opportunity and all that it's going to bring.”
After a one-day-only limited engagement in theaters July 11, Watershed premieres July 16 on Peacock and on Delta flights.
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