Looking back, Emily San Jose wishes she'd considered pronunciation over translation when naming her kids.
The American mom abroad opened up on TikTok about her thought process after welcoming her son Henry, now 6, and daughter Charlie, now 3. In the video —which has over 1 million views on the app — San Jose explained why she and her Spanish husband Sergio opted for names that they thought would work across languages.
"When we were deciding the names of the kids we really had to keep in mind the two sides of the family both speak different languages," the mom of two said. "Not to mention we knew that we were going to be living between Spain and the U.S. so it was really important to us to find names that would work in both Spanish and English."
Legally, they named their kids Henry and Carlota. They hoped that when in the U.S., their daughter would go by Charlie, and when in Spain, Henry could be known as Enrique. They now live in Spain full time, and their kids just go by Henry and Charlie.
Looking back, San Jose wishes she'd looked into names that were easily spoken in both countries — like Isabel or Clara, as she specifies — as opposed to hoping her children would use alternate monikers in each country.
"Honestly, neither my husband or myself had experience in a bi-cultural relationship and so we didn't necessarily think about implications that could potentially cause an issue," San Jose tells PEOPLE, noting that the names haven't necessarily become an issue yet, though it's still an important consideration.
In her viral TikTok post, San Jose explained the less-than-favorable outcome of her kids' names, though she maintains she wouldn't change anything even if given the chance.
"The way that Carlota is pronounced in an English accent is not my favorite. Carlota turns into car-low-ta, really bad car-lotta. We needed to have another option that English speakers could go with," she explained. San Jose explained how her daughter faces some confusion: "Charlie, in Spain, is actually a nickname that's usually given to a boy named Carlos," the international parent shared.
But San Jose tells PEOPLE she was sure of her daughter's name before she actually welcomed her.
"I always knew that I wanted a girl and I wanted to call her Charlie, and Charlie would be short for Charlotte, which in Spanish is Carlota," she says. "Carlota is actually a name that both my husband and I really liked. And so Carlota was an easy decision for us, even though we were going to be in the U.S. -
and I knew I wanted to call her Charlie. So it's kind of confusing."
Henry, on the other hand, isn't commonly called Enrique at all. Most people, including his parents at home, address him as Henry, but spoken with a Spanish accent. Speaking to PEOPLE, San Jose says she and Sergio realized early on that their idea for Enrique wasn't going to work out so easily.
"We were in the US still, so I would introduce him as Henry," she says. "And then through video calls and communication with my family in Spain, everyone just started calling him Henry immediately. So we sort of knew from the beginning that Henry was going to be Henry, whether he was in the US or he was in Spain."
In her TikTok, San Jose said her son "isn't necessarily a fan of his name," though she tells PEOPLE it's not become a major hindrance to his life.
"I'm not sure if it's that he's not a fan of the way it sounds, or being more of a 6-year-old who has a name that's a little bit different from a typical Spanish name," she says. "And so he tries to make it something that's easier when he introduces himself to new people ... he's actually introduced himself a few times as Enrique to friends on the playground, which has been an interesting thing to see for sure."
The video earned over 71,000 likes on the app, but San Jose received a mix of appreciation and criticism from TikTok users.
"I think there were a number of Mexican-Americans that were commenting, 'I've never translated my name.' But then there were others that were saying here for example, Prince William is Guillermo," San Jose tells PEOPLE. "So we can't say that names are never translated."
She continues, "I like to see ... people's constructive dialogue around this topic because it's something that a lot of people around the world face. And I don't know how often it's talked about."
She also hopes her honest video about the subject will help other American moms abroad who might find themselves in these types of dilemmas.
"If maybe my younger self were to have seen someone else talking about this before I had my kids, it might've made me think twice or a little bit deeper into names and what they mean," she tells PEOPLE. "I can share my experiences as well as potentially be an outlet for other people that are going through similar things. That's really the intention that I have when I talk about these things online."
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