Alyson Stoner is putting themselves out there — but they're quickly learning that online dating can be a scary world.
The former Disney Channel star, who uses they/them pronouns, opened up about how "frustrating" it can be trying to meet someone using dating apps, as they've found the experience to sometimes be dehumanizing.
"I'm realizing in real time, like, 'Oh, this is why I have never dated.' Because the second you ask me about my background, if you happen to be someone who's seen a show, oh my gosh. I have to relive this all over again," Stoner, 30, said on the July 16 episode of Christy Carlson Romano's Vulnerable podcast.
"It shapes their perception of me. I'm like, damn, I'm not a human anymore."
Reflecting on a recent experience with a person they met on a dating app, Stoner recalled, "The person I was seeing, they did have that moment of, 'Oh, my gosh. Really?' And then, they were also doubtful. They thought they were being, like, catfished or something."
"Because that probably is random to be like, oh, this person I was watching growing up is now talking to me on this dating app," Stoner continued. "So I get that it could be awkward and bizarre, but I chose to get through that discomfort and give them a chance to see if they would still want to get to know me more authentically."
It can turn into a "mind game" of sorts, they said, as it adds some "mystery."
"You're like, 'Oh, I wonder what their home looks like. Are they a rich celebrity?' I'm like, 'Surprise! I'm still driving my Kia.'"
In general, when it comes to dati -
ng, the Camp Rock alum said that they "tend to be more internal anyway" and not super expressive about their personal life" due to prior experiences they've had.
"Early on, when I was seeing people and we were photographed together, you would see, like, articles come out or comments saying, like, 'We're no longer supporting you because you're taken,' or, like, threats to my partners because someone thought that they were going to marry me," Stoner shared, adding that those kinds of things happened "when I was a minor."
Stoner opened up about their sexuality in a candid first-person essay published in Teen Vogue in 2018. In it, they revealed that they'd fallen in love with a woman, before expanding on their overall sexuality.
“I, Alyson, am attracted to men, women, and people who identify in other ways. I can love people of every gender identity and expression," they said. "It is the soul that captivates me. It is the love we can build and the goodness we can contribute to the world by supporting each other’s best journeys.”
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Later, the Cheaper by the Dozen star revealed that by coming out, they lost out on job opportunities. "I did end up getting fired from a children's show because they felt that I was unsafe, now that they knew I was queer, to be around kids," they told Spencewuah on an episode of I'm Literally Screaming last year. "So there was definitely discrimination."
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