Shannon Storms Beador faces backlash this season of The Real Housewives of Orange County for her decision to keep drinking even after her headline-making DUI and alleged hit-and-run. But the reality star and mother of three tells PEOPLE her relationship to alcohol has changed since then.
"I acknowledge that I was drinking a lot — a lot — back then, but today I'm not," Storms Beador, 60, says, explaining that she was still carrying a lot of pain from her divorce from ex-husband David Beador and in the "miserable" relationship she was in with ex-boyfriend John Janssen. "I was using alcohol as a coping mechanism. And I know I can't do that anymore."
That was a lesson Storms Beador sadly learned the hard way.
She was arrested in Newport Beach in the early hours of Sept. 17 after crashing her car into a planter box attached to a house, authorities told PEOPLE at the time. She had a .24 blood alcohol level (three times the legal limit), was booked on two misdemeanors, and spent a few hours in jail before she was released on a citation.
In November, Storms Beador was sentenced to three years of probation and 40 hours of community service. She was ordered to pay restitution for the house damage from the incident and required to complete a nine-month alcohol program.
Before doing any of that, Storms Beador tells PEOPLE she enrolled herself in "one of the trauma behavioral wellness facilities" for a month of "intensive outpatient programs" which "had an alcohol component to it." She's also finished her community service, and will wrap her nine-month alcohol program this September.
Throughout it all, Storms Beador says she's learned how to be "accountable to myself."
"I want to be a healthier and better person for me," she says. "I still see my therapist and my psychiatrist from the facility I went to on a regular basis. And I'll probably be working on myself for the rest of my life. But today from where I was almost a year ago — because I'm approaching the year mark of my DUI — I'm proud of where I've come."
She keeps her circle to a "very small, close-knit group" these da -
ys. And her drinking, limited.
"If I choose to drink when I go out, I keep it to a minimum. And one or two drinks typically is what'll happen — especially if I go on vacation," Storms Beador says. "And you'll see the season when we went on our all-cast trip, I ordered a drink or two when we went out — because I never want it to look like I'm sneaking — and I was fine."
"There's a part of me that enjoys a cocktail," she adds. "I like the whole sit down, take a breath, be with your friends, have a cocktail, have dinner — that routine.
Asked if she would ever consider giving up drinking, Storms Beador doesn't hesitate.
"Absolutely," she says. "When I did the program, they would randomly drug an alcohol test, so I couldn't drink for that during that period. But I don't want to sit here and say I'm never going to have a drink again. Because I am drinking. So I want to be open and honest."
"If I get to the point where I think alcohol is negatively affecting my life, then I will address that," she says. "If I find that alcohol is messing up my life, like it was when I was using it to cope, then I'll gladly talk about it."
Overall, Storms Beador hopes critics open themselves up to seeing how she is now.
"To people who don't believe me, I'm sorry that they feel that way. But watch this season and check in with me at the end, see what you think," she says. "Do you think that I am more clear-headed and I'm walking down that healthier road again? I think you'll see that."
And to those who still think she shouldn't drink, despite all this? "Then I ask, 'Who made you the judge?'" she says. "Maybe you should look at yourself in the mirror and your relationship with alcohol."
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The Real Housewives of Orange County airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo.
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